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 Post subject: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:17 am 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:19 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Maryland
I don't how often anyone gets those Nigerian emails or other scams, but I had my first a few days ago. My first thought was to pay it no attention and delete without replying, but then I thought I'd have some fun with it anyway. Apparently a man in Ireland decided to do the same not too long ago. So to give you guys something to laugh about, I'll post every email and reply i get, so here it goes:
*ahem*
(The guy tends to ramble, so I apologize for the lengthy crap)
Sent: Dudeman at 10/20/10
I WANT TO INTRODUCE MY SELF TO YOU.

I am Barrister John Smith a citizen of Nigeria in (WEST) Africa, I am into property management and also an investment consultant here, I saw your contact information’s on the internet while I was searching for investment managers in your country which I could partner with in a profiting project, I decided to contact you to propose a deal to you, I have a client here in my country who is interested in real estate business in your country and also other business opportunities that will bring profit, this client of mine happens to be an Ex-Governor of one of the states in my country , he is presently having troubles with the present Government due to the allegation leveled against him to have misappropriated state funds which is not true.

From all indications he is a good man and have made so much money in politics which he intends to invest in another country because most of his investment in Nigeria are been seized by the present government, this is why he mandated me to look for a good and reputable person in Europe, Asia or USA that can help invest on his behalf under my supervision because he can not be seen in any business right now and also can not travel to any where.

He has a huge sum of money in the tune of 50,000,000.00 that he deposited with a security firm here in Nigeria , right now this money can not be moved except if transferred to another country under another name, if his name should reflect in any way at any bank the government will stop the payment but under another name that is not a native Nigerian name the funds will have free passage, so I am approaching you with this deal to be the one to handle this investment plan and also be the one to receive this money into your account plus get a compensation of %20, he has promised to give %20 of the 50,000,000.00 to anyone ready to help, because right now he is afraid that if the government finds out that this type of money exist under his name it will be seized, a Nigerian citizen can not handle this but a foreigner that is why he mandated me to help him locate a honest individual that will not run away with his money after it is transferred out of Nigeria to him.

5% of the total money will be set aside to cover all expenses incurred during the cause of this transaction either by me or by you, also you will be getting a 20% profit from all the proceeds from the investment you will manage under my supervision, let me know if you can be trusted to execute this deal and I will furnish you with more details, to indicate your interest contact me back immediately.

Sincerely,
Barrister John Smith

So obvious... sooo many red flags come up its not even funny, but for the sake of comedy, why not continue eh?

Sent: Trevor at 10/23/10
Hello, Mr. Smith
I am terribly sorry to hear about your ex-governor's trouble, my condolences to him. I will help transfer these funds, however, I will only do it in acceptance of 30% opposed to your 20%. Of course, the 5% to pay for the transaction fees still is in play. Of course, if the 30% is too high, I'm sure we can negotiate another way to make up for the extra 10%. I await your reply.
-Trevor
10% more... well... I didn't want him to know I was onto him did I?

Sent: Dudeman John Smith at 10/23/10, about 15 hours later
Dear Partner,

It was nice to read your letter and i would like to appreciate your swift reply to my proposal , I want you to understand that this transaction will profit you and will also profit me too, but we need to be sincere with each other because the amount involved is big and must not be misappropriated, also trust is important in this transaction.


I have a client here in my country who is an ex-governor, he has some money he would like me to help him invest in your country through a citizen of your country, the amount needed to be invested is $50,000,000.00, this money is currently deposited at a security storage firm here in my country, now the reason i am contacting you to partner with me to move this money out from my country to your country is because my client by name Prof. Joshua Dariye is having serious political problems here with the present administration regarding his last tenure as one of the governors of a state here in my country Nigeria.

So he is in court with the government and in Nigeria as a politician once you are in court with the government all your assets will be confiscated and your bank accounts frozen until you win the case in court against the government, so he want us to help him send out this money which one knows about before it will be frozen too, and for your help i agree you will get %30 of the total sum, which will amount to a total of $15,000,000.00.

However i want you to know that the next step now is that the funds will have to be changed to be under your name before it can be moved to you in your country and the only way that can be done is for me to go to the security company with a letter of authority that will be written and signed fully by my client to request for the change of ownership of the funds to your name, but I will need a copy of your passport or driving license which I will use to obtain an affidavit of claim from the federal high court over here on your name as the new owner of the funds.

As soon as I receive this document from you we will proceed with this transaction immediately, and understand that immediately the funds are in your custody I will fly into your country so as to supervise the investment plans and the investment itself before I return back to my country.

Respond only to this email I am using to contact you now as it is my private email to enable our discussion to be private, I have included in this message my personal identities so as to enable you know whom you are really dealing with, also i would like you to send to me your complete contact details such as.

Understand that whatever investment you suggest is welcomed so far it will be profitable, once the funds are in your possession then you will start the investment, i will also like to remind you that the total amount you are expected to receive and invest is $50,000,000.00 and out of this amount $15,000,000.00 is yours for your assistance to move this money, all paper work required for this transaction to be successful will be provided in due time, i have attached to this mail my I.D and passport copy for identification.


FULL NAME..........................................
HOME ADDRESS....................................
OFFICE ADDRESS..................................
MOBILE NUMBER...................................

HOME NUMBER...................................
OFFICE NUMBER...................................
FAX.....................................................

Sincerely,

Barrister John Smith
Your partner
MOBILE +234-8050703787
Well damn! I should have asked for some talking leopards or soemthing! If anyone wants to give him a call, go ahead! I doubt the number works though. Now the fun is gonna start!

Sent: Trevor at 10/24/10 about 1 hour after reply
Mr. Smith,
Good to hear that the 30% can be budgeted! However, I myself and also having some trouble. I don't mean to go of course hear, but as you know, our overall political standing over with President Obama has our country divided with small factions of both violent and non-violent groups how oppose each other due to their political standings. I myself am part of one of these factions called "The Kadobas" and are currently dealing with another offending party, "The Mandudes". We are mostly a non-violent group, but the Mandudes have been growing increasing more and more violent. One of our members is a former Colonel in US Army and has agreed to help us. However his plan is make a military-like force to keep the Mandudes at bay. However, we are no where near finically or physically able help with these ideas.

As you said, this will only stay between us, so I believe I can trust you. I will be willing to drop my profit from 30% back to 20%, however, I will require military equipment. This includes, uniforms, boots, gas masks, combat backpacks, helmets, etc. No weapons are needed, as it poses too much of a risk both to you and me if it was shipped outside of the US, so we'll deal with that issue ourselves. Also, a friend of mine owns an autoshop. He is willing to pay for any vehicles he can get his hands on to fix and sell himself. He is asking for 3 cars and 1 truck.

I'm sorry as I know these new items may cause complications, and I sincerely apologize. And is this ex-governor a personnal friend of just a client?

-Best Wishes
New Client Trevor
So my demands are going to change back and forth another 3 times. Any you guys want from Nigeria?

_________________
"Two Marines guard an embassy, because people see them there, and know not to mess with them, because people know they'll fight their hearts off for each other... for their brother."


 
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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:38 am 
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Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:48 pm
Posts: 827
Location: Norway
Haaaaaaahahahaha!
This is scammer deluxe! Lo0oL! Laughing
I searched his telephone number and found out that he's sent the same e-mail to tons of other people! Haha!
Smart ass! Not changing name or telephone number in any of the mails! Smart! Very Happy
I've never received this type of scammer mails, this is kinda deluxe scam... @_@
But who would trust a random guy in Nigeria anyway?
Well well well. Nice of you to post this FlapJack! It's always funny to read stuff like this, LoL Laughing

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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 2:28 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 8:34 pm
Posts: 1315
Location: United States
Perhaps sureagreements should have given us more of a warning with these Nigerian scammers. Odd that only now there is a fluctuation in their activity, makes you wonder what is causing this increase, perhaps economic troubles or the recent increase of sales regarding technology in these types of countries?


 
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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 2:42 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:19 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Maryland
I just surprised they're still at it. I know the news had a huge thing on how specifically nigerian emails such as these have robbed people out of all their money and pretty much told everyone what it was on the spot. Yet these emails still persist, gotta give em' credit for their stubornness.

_________________
"Two Marines guard an embassy, because people see them there, and know not to mess with them, because people know they'll fight their hearts off for each other... for their brother."


 
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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:32 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 4:15 am
Posts: 263
This just made my day. The last email is great. Send military gear to us please lol. You should ask if he could send you a prvt army over here.

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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:14 pm 
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Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 8:34 pm
Posts: 1315
Location: United States
If he replies tell him the United States is in desperate need of Nigerian Fembots and that we will pay top dollar for each bot and a bonus with any additional performances they can encode in them. (Fallout reference)


 
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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:41 pm 
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:19 am
Posts: 2787
I get stuff like this on a pretty regular basis. Sometimes I have a laugh by making them jump through hoops for me. One guy asked for my bank details to pay some money in for me (allegedly an inheritance) so I made up a number and he claimed to have verified my bank details and his bank was ready to transfer the money, which considering my name was 'mr John Paul George Ringo' and my bank was the '3rd rate national bank of United Britain, 21 Abbey Road, Strawberry Fields, London Calling, N1 2FU' was pretty damned surprising!!!

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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 8:24 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:48 pm
Posts: 827
Location: Norway
Haha, probably one of the FemBots Taurus are talking about! LOL

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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:41 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:19 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Maryland
Aw man. I replied like 10 minutes ago and fogot to lok here to see what you guys came up with...damn. Well here is what he said and what i said back:
Sent: Nigerian Dude Man
Dear Partner,

Good day, I just got your mail, I would like you to forward me your information’s, identification, because I will require it to start processing necessary required documents in your name.



This is because you are not physically here to go with me to the various offices where your presence and signatures will be needed, so in your absence I will represent you in signing documents only, but your identification will be required at every point, as proof of identity.

This project is huge and it calls for proper documentations, so as to avoid mistakes illegal operations.

Get back to me with your information as requested in my previous mail and identification, traveling passport copy, or driving license copy is accepted.

I have taken note of your involvement with some groups in your country, I would like us to complete this transaction before we delve into your current group intentions and wills, which I will be happy to assist as soon as this transaction is completed successfully between the both of us, understand that this transaction is called confidential and so third party is not allowed to have any information’s on this project, the ex governor is a friend, he was shown on CNN few weeks ago.

Thanks for your understanding and co-operation.



Respectfully Yours,



Barrister John Smith
Anyone serisiouly hear about an nigerian guy on CNN?

_________________
"Two Marines guard an embassy, because people see them there, and know not to mess with them, because people know they'll fight their hearts off for each other... for their brother."


 
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 Post subject: Re: I Love Emails...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 29, 2009 5:19 pm
Posts: 158
Location: Maryland
Sent: Me...
Mr. Smith,
I very faintly remember hearing something about him. Shame such false accusations were made towards him...

Anyway, I understand this discussion is strictly between us, however I regretfully must inform you that a few of very very close friends were told of our investment operation. We have all agreed to continue with your proposition, but our request is that my benefits would be a collective request from all of us. So, simply put, what I request is what me and my other 3 friends wish. So, let us continue with our business found

My requests are that I receive 20% of the $50,000,000.00, which would be $10,000,000.00, and another 5% for the transaction fees. My friend Fred, the mechanic, wishes for 3 cars, and 1 truck. He is willing to pay about $8,000 for the cars and $10,000 for the truck. My friend Mathew wishes for 15 cases of you're most exotic beer. Finally, my friend Elfy, wishes for 2 talking snakes, he is willing to settle for 8 chickens and a regular snake if the talking snakes cannot be found.

These are my requests. I'm sorry, once again that these changes have occurred, however when you reply to this email, I will need you're email to contain each request and that you understand each one. Once you do this, we will be able to go through with this thing all the way! I thank you for giving me this kind of an opportunity! I await your reply, Mr. Smith!

Sincerely,
Happy Treovr

I thinkin' maybe Elky is going to ack fro nuclear material soon...or the fembots

_________________
"Two Marines guard an embassy, because people see them there, and know not to mess with them, because people know they'll fight their hearts off for each other... for their brother."


 
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